


Just Like Helium

by frostbite



Category: 1D - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, BoyxBoy, Break Up, M/M, Smut, car!sex, larry - Freeform, larry smut, larry stylinson - Freeform, lourry, makeup!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 18:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostbite/pseuds/frostbite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Darling, i'm drunk" Louis says, because its easier than explaining things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Like Helium

**Author's Note:**

> ♡ Also on tumblr at Narryfrost ♡

The thing about Harry is that he knows what love is. He knows its not nights spent cuddling in bed with Louis or sharing sweet kisses, it's not waking up to his arms around him, or saying I love you when he leaves for his day. Love is sitting back on the sidelines and waiting-- waiting for everything and nothing. Love is the feeling of absolute sickness you get in the pit of your stomach when Louis doesn't even flinch when he kisses him. Love is when you get a scratch on your knee but nobodies there to see if you're okay. But it's when you realize that the person you've feel madly in love with wants nothing to do with you unless theres a sufficient amount of alcohol added to the equation, that's love. 

From Harry's perspective anyways. 

Harry wakes up alone, but he wasn't expecting anything differently. His hips are sore from the night before as he gets up from his bed and stares into his mirror that is nailed into his white walls. His long, thin fingers brush over the fading bruises that lay prominent against the pale flesh of his neck, the only indication that he was really there. His eyes shift towards downwards staring at the reflection of his bed behind him, and for a quick second he sees Louis. His messy hair and tired eyes, but when he turns around he's greeted with nothing but a bed with the sheets moved and one of his pillows balancing on the edge of the bed almost falling off. 

"You know i'm leaving the day after tomorrow, right?" Harry quizzes between sloppy kisses Louis is planting on his mouth. His legs are on either side of Harry's hips and his tanned hands are roaming all over his bare chest, raising up and down his sides, tilting his head down to get a good view of his neck sucking a love bite or two into his flesh. There's enough alcohol on the older boy's breath for Harry to taste, but he doesn't mind. "Louis wait, c'mon dude, can't you just talk to me for a moment?" Harry asks, his voice slightly annoyed as the younger boy shakes his head biting his neck. "Mmh can't stop," Louis says, rocking his hips over Harry's crotch grabbing onto his hips and grinding himself down rubbing against the younger boy faster. "Louis please," Harry asks, moving his head around until Louis stops and looks down at him with an annoyed look on his face. "What Harry?" 

"You know i'm leaving Sunday morning, right?" Harry's brows raise in question, and he's not entirely sure why he's even asking because he knows-- _knows_ Louis doesn't give a shit. And Harry's right as he watches the younger boy sit up and shrug his shoulders. "Do you want a cake? Balloons? A card congratulating you?" And the sarcasm drips off his voice, it's almost sickening, really. "You know, you could actually pretend to care once in a while, Lou." Harry says, and he expects another witty comeback from the older boy but Louis just rolls his eyes and shrugs it off before he leans back down and kisses down his chest. So Harry keeps quiet while his fingers find their way into Louis' hair as he goes down on him. 

Harry's room is packed up, and there are a lot of boxes but the only thing left out are a few short books he planned on reading in the car and his laptop that is sitting on his desk. He lets out a sigh before he's off to the bathroom where he showers and gets ready to see his family for the whole day and hopes-- _hopes_ Louis shows up, because Harry's invited him countless amounts of times, but yet, somewhere deep down inside he knows he wont. And he's right, because Saturday comes and goes and he sees countless amount of family and friend's but no Louis, never Louis. 

And the night rolls around, so Harry's laid in bed writing some shit down in his notebook he's had hidden between his mattress and his bed frame for years when he phones goes off beside him and he already knows it Louis. So he doesn't bother answering and closes his book and lays it on the floor and kicks it underneath his bed a bit before running down the steps and opening the front door where Louis is standing with an oversized hoodie on with the hood pulled up over his head. The rain outside is cold and from the looks of it Louis is soaked. "Hi," he breathes out in a soft voice, his teeth already chattering together as he steps inside and Harry runs off to get him a towel while he peels off the hoodie that's proper soaked. Harry watches in awe at the older boy, looking at him like he's never seen something so beautiful before. "Do you want to go upstairs?" Harry asks, but to his surprise Louis shakes his head and stays quiet, and it's a side of Louis he's never seen before. There's a glint of sadness that appears over his face when Louis finally gets a good look at him, but he doesn't ask whats wrong. "Come for a ride with me," Louis says, but it comes out more as question which Harry obviously says yes too. 

So they both head back out into the pouring rain running like little children towards Louis' car pulling open the doors and throwing themselves inside. Everything's silent for a moment, quiet enough for Harry to focus on the sound of the rain pounding against the windshield like rocks. He watches Louis start the car, pulling away from the house quickly and making a break for the street. And they drive for what seems like hours, hours of silence and all the words swirling in both of their heads that they should've said a long time ago. Harry can see how tensed up Louis is by the way he has his grip on the steering wheel, so tight his knuckles turn white and his jaw becomes more tense. Harry just stares out the window watching the long strips of houses with lights on replace themselves with fields of tall grass and the only light provided for them was the headlights. "Where are we going?" Harry asked, his warm breath fogging up the cold windows, still marked with raindrops. "Driving," Louis replies with no emotion in his voice. The street is wet underneath the tires, the ground crunching underneath the weight of them as they begin to slow down before pulling over to a side of the vacant road. It looks like they're no houses or anyone for miles, and that scares Harry, but he trusts Louis. 

"C'mon," Louis says as he climbs into the back of the car and Harry absentmindedly follows him, watching him using the light of his phone to reach down on the floor grabbing his small brown box that's usually hidden somewhere on him. Harry holds his phone up as he opens the lid and takes out his cigarette box. Inside, Harry already knows what their is and the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach smooths out as he watches the older boy place a tightly rolled joint between his lips while looking around for his lighter. Harry watches him as he lights the end and inhales so deep that his chest pushes out, and Harry knows he's really trying to get high this time. It takes Louis a moment before his head is tilted up towards the roof of the car where he blows out a thick stream of white smoke that floats up against the ceiling looking like clouds. With every puff Louis feels a little relief, like the smoke where the words he should've said finally coming out of his mouth before offering it to the younger boy.

t's still warm between his lips as he lights it up and inhales letting it fill up his chest circling around inside of his lungs as he pulls it out and holds it for a few seconds. "Shot gun me," Louis asked, moving himself close enough Harry could see his eyes already beginning to go low. Louis' lips brushed against Harry's as he inhaled the smoke the younger boy blew into him, pulling back with his own set of red-eyes watching Louis exhale his own. "Wicked," Harry admitted, reaching up and running his fingers through his curls watching the older boy take another drag. Louis' mouth cupped in a o shape as he blew out rings of smoke, both boys watching as they floated up smashing into nothing against the ceiling. 

Harry often wondered about things when he was high. He thought how great Louis' hands felt when they were yanking against his curls, or how intense their kisses they shared seemed to be. But he craved the taste of him, almost whimpering at the thought of the Louis would make as he bucked into his mouth. He thought about how perfect he would look all fucked out, body sweaty and legs trembling. 

"You're staring," Louis rasps, his voice was _almost_ as low as his eyes. "I want you," Harry admits, licking at his bottom lip as he breathes in the smoke that surrounds them, it's inevitable, really. 

And Louis knows, he's always known. 

"I want you too," Louis offers, but his words aren't sincere and he knows it, so he takes another drag of the joint before passing it to Harry watching him do the same. "No I want you, Louis. I want you everywhere," he tries to explain as the smoke floods from his mouth adding to the fog thats filled the car, but Louis just ends up laughing at him, and it's a beautiful sound, really it is. But Harry's persistent this time as he moves closer watching as Louis takes his last drag before ashing it inside a can of pop he'd finished earlier. "No I really want you, Louis," he says, his words are slow and meaningful and he only hopes Louis will understand what he means-- what he really means because how damn blunt do you have to get with this boy? "I want your hands in my hair, and your skin against mine, and I want to feel your heart beating fast through your chest when I put my mouth on you." 

"Fuck," Louis breathes out hard, Harry's hand pressing against his lap as he crawls closer, placing his lips on his neck, kissing and sucking and kissing and sucking. Louis is dizzy, he feels drunk off him, and he's hard underneath the weight of Harry's hand, and he knows Harry can feel it because he's palming him faster, _trying_ to get a reaction out of him. "Tell me what you want," Harry breathes out against the nape of his neck, pressing a few soft kisses against his flesh. 

"You," Louis whimpered, moving his head more towards the side giving the younger boy more space on his neck. He tensed as Harry's cold palms snaked underneath his shirt, sliding up his soft skin and up to his nipples that were hard against the cold air that slipped under his shirt. Harry swirled his thumb along his nub, going in slow circles as he kissed him again, their tongues meshing together in a mess of passionate desperation. Harry's thumb sped up, pinching it between his fingers feeling Louis jerk from underneath him. "Take your shirt off, love," Harry whispers, his words linger in the silence of the car as the older boy obliges and pulls his shirt over his head and lets it fall beside him on the seat. He watches the younger boy lean over and kiss his neck, and down the hairless expanse of his chest stopping just shy of his boxers that poked out above his jeans. 

Harry's long fingers toyed with his button, reaching up snapping the waistband of his boxers against his skin as Louis stirred underneath him, biting at his bottom lip each time Harry's hand brushed over his bulge that sat prominent against his jeans. A deep blush left his cheeks when Harry tapped his hips and he lifted them up as Harry wiggled his tight jeans off him down to his mid-thighs. "Wait," Louis sighed, reaching up and running a hand through his messed up hair. The words are right on the tip of his tongue, he can feel them, every single syllable falling from his lips. _Just say it, god just say it._ Harry's eyes are wide and full of expectation and Louis could cry, he really could. He paused, holding his breath as he looked down at the younger boy who was only inches above his cock. _I love you, I love everything about you. I love you I love you I love you._ "Sorry," he says, shaking his head before shifting so his back was pressed more against the door. "Forgot what I was going to say," he lies, and for a moment theres a wave of sadness that washes over the younger boy's face before he nods and looks back down at his cock thats pressed against the tight material of his boxers holding his breath as he watched down as Harry traced his index finger along the outline of his dick.

He took his time when pulling down Louis' boxers making sure to tease him as much as possible, rubbing the base of his palm against him and making little moans as he did so mocking the older boy who already had his head tipped back against the window. "Such a fucking tease," Louis groaned through his teeth, Harry looked up momentarily meeting his eyes noticing his blown-pupils half-covered by his low, red eyes. He pulled the cloth the rest of the way down holding his breath as Louis' cock set free, standing long and hard with pre-cum already seeping at the top. Harry licked his lips as he wrapped his fist around the base, slowly bringing himself up to the tip where he thumbed the top taking in the desperate moans that fell from the older boy's mouth as a sign of his was doing good. 

"Jesus Christ," Louis cried as he lifted his hips upwards, thrusting his length into the younger boy's hands. Harry looked up at him with wide eyes and a smirk, loving the fact he could make Louis feel like this. "Uh uh uh, no moving, it's my turn to make you feel good." He said, his lips just centimeters away from the head of his cock. Louis' body twitched when Harry's warm breath hit against the head, his eyes cracking closed as his tongue poked out working his way along the tip, over and under until he was dragging his tongue along the underside of his cock all the way to the base and back up again. Harry took time in focusing on the head, wrapping his set of full, almost-red lips around his cock and hollowing around him using his tongue against the slit. Louis' hand found his way down his chest before lacing his fingers in Harry's curls, yanking at them and pushing him down further until his entire dick was at the back of his throat and he was swallowing around him.

"Fuck fuck fuck," Louis moaned, bucking his hips up again hitting the back of the younger boy's mouth. Harry pulled off him, giving him a hard look as he replaced his mouth with his hand. "Lets get something straight, yeah?" He ordered, thumbing the top while reaching up with his free hand and grabbing Louis' jaw making him look directly at him. "I'm in charge, alright?" He said, his voice low and stern. Louis slowly nodded his head, biting the inside of the bottom of his lip as he swallowed back a moan that threatened to escape his lips. The fact that Harry was so dominant was definitely the biggest fucking turn-on, and Louis mentally wants to kick himself for waiting so fucking long. His cock twitched in the younger boy's hands, and he resisted the urge to move his hips again. Harry leaned back down taking him back in his mouth, he hollowed his cheeks out bobbing his head up and down as Louis' fingers made their way back into his curls yanking and rubbing at his scalp as he reached his peak. Louis' eyes shut tight as Harry pushed his mouth down further, sucking him harder and faster using his hands when he felt like he wanted too. 

"Shit Harry, i'm going too- fuck," before he could even do anything at all, he was cumming inside the younger boy's mouth with no hesitation. Harry swallowed down the liquid with no remorse before pulling back and wiping the corners of his mouth with his thumb. He watched over the older boy who laid still against the door with his eyes shut and his bare chest rising and falling with each shaky breath, and Harry wonders if his heart is beating as fast as Louis'. Harry leans forwards, helping Louis out by pulling up his boxers and jeans leaving them unbuttoned as he wrapped his arms around his torso and laid on top of him resting his head on his chest letting his own eyes fall shut, silently wishing everything would stay this way forever. 

Louis stays there for a while with the comfortable weight of Harry onto of him, neither of them saying a word. 

"How far are you leaving?" Louis asks, his voice is raspy but Harry thinks he sounds perfect. He lifts his head off the older boy's chest, looking at him rubbing circles into his sides. "About eight and a half hours," he says, and its like a punch in the stomach to Louis because its really far away, and he already misses the younger boy. It's a weird feeling he has, rolling up his skin and the tips of his fingers tingling, like sand. Harry's slowly leaving, every minute their wasting Harry's slipping through his fingers and Louis can't breath. He doesn't know how he's supposed to say goodbye, and he doesn't want too. 

"Are you excited?" 

"Yeah," Harry says, and Louis wants to lace their fingers together and ask Harry to stay, tell him he doesn't know what he'll do without him. 

"I should've gotten you a gift or something. Something as a goodbye present," Louis admits, kicking himself on the side for being so absentminded and rude about it. Harry's going to University, Harry's going to start a new life without him, it's a tragedy, really it is.

"No you shouldn't have," Harry says, and behind Louis' closed eyes he sees each of Harry's words. His words like ice, falling from his lips. "What's gotten into you, mate? You don't buy gifts for people." Harry plays it off with a laugh, but on the inside he thinks he's withering away to nothing and its a painful feeling because in a way he knows Louis is trying, but on the outside he says nothing, because why should he? 

"Darling, i'm drunk," Louis says, because its easier than explaining things.

But Harry knows what he means by that. 

"Seriously I need to get you something," Louis says looking towards the younger boy whose head is promptly back on his chest, his ear down pressed against his flesh listening to the beating of his heart that hits against his chest. "What do you want?" 

Harry ponders his options for a moment, listening to the sound of his heart beating faster as he snakes his arms around him holding him tighter as he shrugs his shoulders. 

"Be mine," Harry blurts out before he even has the chance to think about what's he's doing. "For the night, kiss me while you fuck me and pretend to care. Look at me how you used too," he asks in a simple voice, but Louis is stunned with goosebumps and theres an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach so bad he's pretty sure he's going to be sick. 

"I am yours, Curly," he drops the nickname hoping to ease some of the tension there is. But Harry's still staring back up at him with his owl eyes. "No you're not," Harry says, but theres so much emotion behind it that it actually scares Louis watching as Harry sat up running his hands through his curls. "No you're not," he repeats in a much softer voice, "you're not mine and you've never been. You just, you're there, you're always there and giving me these hints like you like me or something and then you ruin it by not calling me for weeks at a time until you want someone to fuck again. And when you do come around you could care less if i'm into you or not, as long as you've got your pretty little cock up someones ass you're content with breaking whoever's heart without a single care in the world."

"And it's mine, it's always mine, Lou. You don't understand, how much you mean to me. I told you I was going to fucking University eight bloody hours away and all you did was look at me like I was an idiot and asked me if I wanted a fucking card, man."

But instead of saying anything back Louis just kisses him-- he leans up and grabs his face with both hands cupping his cheeks as he pulls him closer. And theres just a few heart breaking moments of effort just from Louis, and he finally gets a taste of what he dishes out until Harry starts to kiss back and his large hands find their way to his sides where he grips onto as Louis slowly falls back against the door, head pressed against the window as Harry begins to take over and he nips at Louis' bottom lip before their tongues mesh together in a fit of absolute passion. Harry broke the kiss, both boys panting heavily in search of air before they fell back into the same routine of kissing, aside from Louis small hand snaking down into Harry's pants teasing his length until Harry couldn't take it and pulled back. "I need you, Lou" he pleads, and it's one of those pathetic moments where he's almost ready to get on his knees and beg him. 

"I've got lube in the trunk," Louis says breathlessly, feeling his own cock thickening beneath the material of his jeans again. Harry just shakes his head with amusement before getting out of the car and walking to the trunk as Louis leans up and hits the little lever for Harry who returns moments later with the bottle in his hand. "Not enough space back here," he notes, and Louis just stares at him like he's got fucking mad. "And where do you suggest we do this, curly? In the field, or the middle of the street?" He asks, obvious sarcasm burning off his tongue like fire.

"On the hood of the car," Harry says quickly like he's got all the answers. And it doesn't really seem like that bad of an idea, really. So both boys climb from the back of the car and make their way onto the freezing cold frame of the car. "Gonna fuck you so hard you can't sit down properly," Louis teases as he pulls up and yanks Harry's t-shirt over his head letting it fall somewhere. Harry lays down across the hood, his knees propped up as Louis straddles him and focuses his kisses right to the nape of his neck. He focuses on the way Louis' lips seem to suction over his skin as he bites down slowly, sucking harder at the skin before pulling back with a satisfied smirk admiring his work he'd left. "Hope you've got cover up or a turtle neck," he whispers as he kisses down his chest, tongue flicking over the ink of the butterfly he's gotten in the dead center of his stomach. "Don't," Harry breathes out hard, reaching up to grab at his curls. "Don't what?" Louis asks, an innocent curiosity playing in his voice as he played with the button of his jeans kissing back up to his neck where he left more scarlet marks along his prominent collarbones. "Don't fucking tease," Harry whimpers, his eyes fluttering shut as Louis kisses back down his chest and stomach, his tongue flicking over his happy trail. "Gonna fuck you so good you'll always remember me," Louis says, yanking down his jeans to his ankles watching Harry kick them off. 

"Couldn't forget you," Harry murmurs, his heart fluttering in his chest. Louis ignores his comment, taking down his maroon colored boxers he's wearing letting his cock lay full and hard against his stomach. "Anyone could drive by, doesn't that make you the least bit concerned?" Louis asked, his warm breath causing his dick to twitch as pre-cum seeped from the tip slowly falling down his length. "Guess they'll get one hell of a show then," Harry says breathlessly, the air hitching in his throat when Louis' hand wraps around the base slowly sliding upwards as he wraps his lips around the tip. "Christ," Harry groans, moving around so he was leaning up on his elbows watching down as Louis pushed himself down farther onto his length, sucking and licking around him. Louis began humming around him, licking up the base of his cock to the head, flicking his tongue over the slit lapping up his cum before pulling back replacing his mouth with his hand looking directly up at the younger boy who was in bliss, his bottom lip held tight between his teeth as he lightly moved his hips upwards into Louis' hand, letting a moan slip from the back of his throat as he did so.

By now Louis had already gotten completely hard again beneath his boxers, the fabric felling like a pathetic suffocation to his own body. He grabbed the bottle of lube from the hood reaching down and coating his fingers with the clear gel rubbing some against Harry's hole listening to the gasp leave his mouth as he began rubbing the tip of his index finger up and down and in smooth circles against him waiting a few seconds before pushing his first finger all the way inside to his first knuckles smirking at the desperate gasp that left Harry's mouth as he did so, his walls closing around him as he slid his finger in and out before adding a second into the stretch, using the scissoring motion back and forth knocking against his velvet walls. Harry's dick twitched at the thought of the third finger as he pulled back lining up all three and slowly pushing inside his tight hole, stretching him just enough for his cock to fit. "Harder," Harry instructed, feeling Louis' fingers curl as he thrusted inside hitting into some of his sweet spots causing the curly-haired-boy to cry out in pleasure. 

"Lay back baby," Louis said, drawing back his fingers enough before giving one more thrust of his fingers inside watching Harry's eyes go wide in awe before sprawling out across the hood, his palm pressed against the windshield as he got used to the cold aluminum against his back again. Louis took his time with kicking off his shoes and taking his pants off, making sure to tease the younger boy by sneaking a few strokes to himself as he lubed himself up letting out a few breathy moans in the process watching Harry squirming underneath him. "Be gentle," Harry sighed into his mouth as he leaned down for a kiss, their tongues meshing together as Louis lined his cock up to Harry's stretched hole before slowly pressing himself inside his tight heat. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck, holding them together as Louis slowly began thrusting into him, picking up the pace and swallowing down the moans Harry gushed into his mouth. 

"Christ," Harry groaned, feeling Louis' hips moving quicker in a more steady rhythm as he pushed deeper inside of him, filling him up completely sliding in and out of him. It's a slow build, but Louis can feel himself reaching his peak. His stomach goes tight and his mind begins to go blank as he drills into Harry harder, gripping his hips and pushing his thumbs down against the flesh above his hipbone as he shivers and feels Harry squeezing around him, his legs beginning to tremble. "Not gonna last long," Harry admits breathlessly against his ear, leaning down enough to give him a few kisses on his neck but sure not to leave a mark. And it's overwhelming, because Louis is never sweet when they have sex, and never lets him kiss his neck. Never wanted to do anything intimate. And here they are, having sex on the hood of his car but theres feelings there, and emotion because Harry can sense it and god dammit that's a good feeling. 

Louis feels the same way, because when he looks down beneath him instead of just seeing another face he'll drink away the memory of and have no recollection by morning, he sees Harry. And that's when it really, _really_ dawns on him that it's Harry, and he always wants it to be Harry. And the thought is enough to bring tears to his eyes, because he knows in just a few hours Harry's going to leave, he's going to leave and find someone better, and Louis knows he deserves that but he just can't bare the thought as he keeps his eyes shut tight and buries his face into the crook of Harry's neck where he's left countless numbers of lilac bruises into his skin. 

"Shit i'm about too-" Harry gasps, breaking Louis out of his thoughts. "Me too," he whimpers, moving his hips faster hitting right into Harry's prostate making him see stars, his vision blurring with tears as he moans into the air making some of the pretties noises Louis has ever heard. "Jesus, fuck," Louis cries out harder as the burning sensations floods to his hips, and down the back of his bare thighs. Both boy's skin goes covered with goosebumps from the cold air that blows against them. And before he even comprehends anything he cries out Harry's name into his shoulder, nipping at some of the skin as he comes deep inside the younger boy's tight hole. 

It doesn't take long for Harry to come either, just the feeling of Louis holding onto him tighter closer to his body had him coming between the two as he bucked his hips upwards getting more friction between the two. Louis slowly pulled out of his hole before he collapsed onto him, his face still buried in his neck as he took long, deep breaths trying to catch his breath. Harry mimicked his actions, letting his eyes flutter shut as he traced his fingertips up and down Louis' back, quietly wishing they literally would stay like this forever and ever. And that's when Harry came to the silent conclusion in his head, Louis was just like helium. Fun to have, easy to breathe in, but when it's there, you try and hold it as long as you can. But when it's gone, it's gone. (But he's pretty sure he's still high so he decides not to share his discovery with the older boy.)

"You ready?" Harry asks, breaking the peaceful silence between the two, watching as Louis lifts his head up and look at him into his eyes while shaking his head. "Yeah, sorry" he raps, climbing off the younger boy and jumping off the car watching Harry do the same as they silently cleaned themselves up and got dressed, climbing back into their original seats of the car. Louis started the car, and that's when his chest really began going tight, regret burning through him as he pulled off down the road. The ride was mostly silent, besides the awkward coughs they shared and the soft "sorry's" they murmured to each other when their hands brushed together. 

"I don't want you to leave," Louis started, his words loud and meaningful over the sound of the road crunching underneath of them as they drove. "I don't want you to think that I didn't care about you, or that I used you, because I didn't." He sighs, his palms going sweaty as they get closer and closer to his house. "I do love you, Harry. And it may not mean much, or anything at all, and I don't blame you, you know? Because i've been a pretty bad-- whatever I am." He says, and Harry just stays silent listening to how the words seem to crumple as they fall out of his mouth. "You mean a lot too me, always have and always will, forever curly." He says, letting out a breathy laugh as he turned onto Harry's street, everything passing by them in a blur as he drove down, past the endless stretch of houses. And it seems like it takes an eternity for them to get to his house, and Harry just stays completely silent staring out the window watching all the stars in a sky blur into one as Louis' words swim through his head like a whirlpool, round and round until he's dizzy. 

And it's when they pull up in front of Harry's house that Louis stops breathing. Because if Harry invites him inside, he'll know he hasn't completely fucked up the best thing he's possibly ever had. "Here we are." Harry says softly, looking down at his lap as he picks at his nails. 

"I've always loved you," Harry says, and Louis heart goes in a flutters in his chest again, silently screaming at the top of his lungs. "But I won't make you wait, and I don't think i'd wait either" Harry finished the sentence off, and Louis feels like he's just been hit with a ton of bricks. Louis stays completely still, frozen in his horror that Harry rejected him, hard and painfully. "But I still love you, forever Lou." He says, taking off his belt and opening the door before leaning over and pressing a soft lingering kiss to the older boy's lips before sliding off the seat and leaning down to say something. 

"Goodnight," he said, his voice slow and full of sadness before he shut the door and walked into the house leaving Louis frozen and broken behind. 

"Goodnight," Louis sighed, _and wow, he must've said that about a hundred times._


End file.
